Monday, February 25

Confusion

How do you look for something of which you yourself do not know of?
Not only do you not know where to look for it,
you don't even know what you're looking for.
But the emptiness within,
the aftermath confusion,
the raging storm surrounds,
you just know something is missing.
Sometimes it feels like a disease.
Robbing your vitality with you knowing,
but incapable of stopping it.
You turn to familiar faces for help.
But the familiar faces ain't so familiar with you after all.
Their ignorance and disconnection grieves you even more.
You're sinking faster then you think.
You need the missing link to survive.
Just, what is the missing link?
I need a signal fire.

Tuesday, February 19

V.a.l.e.n.t.i.n.e.

I have no idea whether you read my blog or not, but still, this post is addressed to you.

I've told you before, but in case you've forgotten; i've never celebrate Valentine's Day on that day itself. My previous experiences with that day was...not really beautiful. So this year's VDay, was my first ever, real celebration. And i'm glad i got to spend it with you. It was really beautiful. And a memorable one, not just because it's the first, but because it's beautiful. You were beautiful on that night.
I didn't reply your earlier letter to me, voicing out your disappointment on our 'Anniversary'. Guess i owe you a respond. To me, the real anniversary is on VDay itself. Because it was on that day 2 years ago, that i really confessed to you my wish. And the day i promised you things. And i have not forgotten them. So that's why i didn't plan anything for the 10th. Because it wasn't the day that bears the significance.
Your commitment in this relationship is overwhelming. I'm truly blessed by every single moment we spent together; be it laughters or frustration, even annoyance. It has been great. And about being able to walk on, i surely hope we can. But i can't lie to you. I can't deny the confusion and doubts i have in within me. Don't worry, it's not about you. I've never doubted you. I just need...well, i don't know what i'm searching for either.

The only thing i can tell you, for now, for sure, is that my feelings for you; they're definitely real.