Rev 19:11-15

Purging

2012-01-14T18:06:00.002+08:00

There is not a single day gone by that i don't think of you.
Each video i see online, wished to send you the link.
All the movies i feel like watching, suddenly the idea of watching alone turns dull.
My heart is heavy. Breathing is difficult.
It is tough. This is tough.
When my mind is occupied, things are much easier.
But when all fall back to silence. .

This is necessary. I know it is.
The process is not gonna be smooth. Expected.
But i need it. I need.

Reset

2011-12-18T00:14:00.001+08:00

Stopped being different.

Ceased making changes.

No longer impacting.

A fading presence.

Lost most of the goods once shined.

No longer recognise.

Who am i?

How was i?

What have i become?

Searching for the reset button.

Autumn [2]

2011-12-15T22:59:00.001+08:00

To NewMe. This is the original untouched. What do you think?

December 12th, 2011.

2011-12-13T23:12:00.002+08:00

December 12th, 2011.

Words

2011-12-13T00:22:00.002+08:00

I am exhausted. With words.
To explain. To clarify. To justify.
Why can't i simply be.

Perhaps i am worth not trust.
Or do i even trust myself. I began to doubt.

In many ways. I am exhausted.
So please, if You may, fill my cup.

Autumn

2011-12-12T00:10:00.001+08:00

Personal favorite of an autumn shot. Kyoto.

Time

2011-12-09T01:08:00.001+08:00

The very essence of which

Men attempts to steer

Over the ages, but to no avail.

Even the most beautiful thing

May pierce through your heart

Or holds you breathless

If it ever unfolds in the perfectly

Wrong timing.

History

2011-09-25T23:21:00.001+08:00

The City of Life and Death. The most depressing in years. To say it is beautifully and wonderfully made, would be inhumane. To say otherwise, would be incorrect.

2011-09-21T22:15:00.000+08:00

At the most troubled times, i turn to You.

For in all things, You work for the good of those who love you, who are called according to Your purpose.

And i hold on to that. Tightly. Firmly. Faithfully. Hopeful.

Never

2011-06-29T11:58:00.002+08:00

Never lose heart. Never.

Joy

2011-06-27T19:26:00.002+08:00

To be a joy, you must have joy, and joy in abundance.
That when it overflows, you shall be the joy.
So, have joy.

Rejoice. Again, I tell you. Rejoice.

Reason

2011-06-23T06:50:00.001+08:00

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship.

Weak

2011-06-12T23:06:00.012+08:00

What does it take to break you.
To pierce through every defense you have.
Right to the core.

To feel how weak you truly are.
Then you realize, how much you truly need.

Church of Acts

2011-06-05T10:52:00.001+08:00

Acts 2:42

1. Devoted to the teaching
2. Fellowship
3. Breaking of bread
4. Prayer

Fade.

2011-05-25T06:50:00.000+08:00

I am, flower quickly fading. Here today and gone tomorrow.

Resurrection

2011-04-24T13:53:00.001+08:00

1 Cor. 15:13-14
Romans 4:25
Romans 1:4
1 Cor. 15:20
1 Cor. 15:32

Culture

2011-04-10T13:48:00.001+08:00

How to build a culture.

1. Recognise the appointed time.

2. Know the promises of God.

3. Say it.

Here i am to worship

2011-04-05T22:19:00.002+08:00

Verse 1:
この世のひかりとなられ　　こころの目開け
kono yo no hikari to narare kokoro no me ake
あなたをしたうこころと希望あたえた
anata wo shitau kokoro to kibou ataeta

Chorus:
御前に伏し　礼拝して　主とします　あなとを
mimae ni fushi rehaishite shu to shimasu anata wo
いとおしい方　ふさわしい主
itooshi kata fusawashii shu
くすしい　わたしの主
kusushii watashi no shu

Bridge:
はかり知れぬその　十字架の代価を
hakari shirenu sono jujika no daika wo
わたしの代わりに　つみを背負われた
watashi no kawari ni tsumi wo seowareta

Verse 2:
すべての世代の中で　栄光の主　王の王
subete no sedai no naka de eiko no shu ou no ou
へりくだり　この世に来られ　愛しめされた
herikudari kono yo ni korare ai shimesareta

Worship

2011-03-29T07:04:00.001+08:00

Worship transforms the most ordinary places into holy ground.

Can

2011-03-27T15:48:00.001+08:00

Philippians 4:7-13.

Malachi 3:6.
The Lord do not change.

Isaiah 59:19. Overwhelming.
Enemy shall come in like a flood, Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against Him.

Ephesians 4:32. Broken relationships.
Be kind, compassionate, forgiving, just as Christ forgave me.

Psalm 23:4. Death.
Even though through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.

Ephesians 6:10. Be strong.

Capital of the East

2011-03-19T15:57:00.001+08:00

Final blows from winter before victory is spring's.
Little laughters can survive the intensity.
Wind chill conquers the day, rules the night.
But not just another night.
Warmth denied, illumination forbade.
By the hands of millions; against one's pride and comfort.
Radiance of the ever-glow suppressed to the minimal.

Yet my eyes see, like i have never seen before.
Behold, a nation at its brightest.

Totem

2011-03-15T23:58:00.000+08:00

Initially i thought it was just me.
I needed a totem.
The picture hanging on the wall right before me.
The reflection on its glassy surface.
Half the time i checked, it was waving at me.
It wasn't my imagination.
It was shaking.

Procrastinate

2011-03-08T06:55:00.001+08:00

It is like a virus.
Infects. And destroys.
And there is simply no cure.

Work

2011-03-01T06:50:00.001+08:00

5 times the time.
10 times the effort.
All for half done jobs.

How long more?

Open doors

2011-02-27T15:37:00.002+08:00

Confidence without pride.

"In the natural, you get hungry by not eating. In the spiritual, you get hungry by eating." - Bill Johnson

1. Get rid of counterfeit riches.
2. Daily devotional times.
3. Worship and enjoy God first.

Scattered

2011-02-24T22:51:00.000+08:00

20 minutes to 12. Guess i should sleep soon. But a nudge, an urge to drop something here before i crawl up to bed.

When your mind has wandered faraway.
And your heart has gone the opposite way.
Your hands are neither here or there.
Internal isolation.
Partition within.

If growth is for the better,
why do i feel that i was a better man yesterday?

Pieces of me scattered.
I need to assemble. The toughest puzzle i ever have to deal with.

Detached

2011-02-24T06:56:00.002+08:00

Slipping in 3 minutes of blogging while waiting for the train to depart, perhaps this is a test of how fast I can actually type.

When the mind and heart is detached from the physical presence.. How do you fix that?

Sukacita Surga

2011-02-22T22:27:00.000+08:00

To Kimberly. = )

Dream

2011-01-24T06:43:00.001+08:00

Like a children, dream again.

Lord

2011-01-17T22:25:00.000+08:00

What wasn't mine to begin with, is not mine to lose.
For if you do not own it, then you will not have the right to lose it.

And nothing that i have, is truly mine.
Everything's a gift. Given to me when i deserve not.

If none belongs to me, then to whom would i belong to?

Everyday

2011-01-11T20:00:00.001+08:00

Everyday's a struggle; a fresh battle to be won.

But victory doesn't come easy. And surely doesn't come often.

Trust in the Lord

2010-12-26T16:12:00.002+08:00

Proverbs 3:56

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Acknowledge:
1 recognise
2 know
3 give thanks

Acknowledge God, for we are nothing without Him.

Effort. Together. Look for Jesus. Learn. Attitude.

Jesus is on the same boat. Our boat.
Look for Him.

Each time you fall, pick something up before you get up again. (Romans 8:28)

Habakuk 3:17-19

Within

2010-12-16T18:26:00.001+08:00

The empty space You left within me,
none other can fill.
Oh how I miss Your presence.

Conquer

2010-11-28T23:09:00.000+08:00

When countless failures find you,

and there's no escape for you.

When nothing you do seems good enough,

and you have no idea why or how.

When the rain doesn't stop,

and the wind doesn't break.

You fall.

Break.

Breathe.

Stand up.

Look ahead.

And go again.

Is it really that difficult?

Ancient

2010-11-22T12:57:00.000+08:00

Each time i open this page, with the intention to note down my thoughts and feelings; i start off with rather strong motivation. But 95% of the time, i close it in the same manner i opened it. This, has to change. And the desire to change, isn't alien to me. I have vowed to change, multiple times. Countless times.

I feel the need for this. To note down. To express. To have a time of my own. To tell myself the things i have been thinking about. To materialize my thoughts and emotions. I need this.

I really do.

Just came back from the ancient city of Kyoto. Watched it glows in red, golden and yellow. Along with half of the nation, of course. I do agree that it was rather spectacular. But the crowd of which we have to brave makes everything less worthy. And the photographers; range from 5 years old (or less) to well over 75. This, is Japan during seasonal holiday. Especially Kyoto in autumn (spring too). Photos when i return home to process them. All in all, i think i have gotten myself what i came for, but still i have to admit that i have not really quenched my thirst for a shot worthy enough to close the chapter. Perhaps, the crowd. Or is it just me and my insufficient skills.

Still, like all trips; the company makes all the difference. And with her, i guess it's good enough for me.

I guess i should really start studying for my Japanese test.

Timeless

2010-11-03T22:27:00.001+08:00

Broken clock. Timeless.

From Japan

Taken from Yokohama Ramen Museum.

Shame

2010-10-19T22:37:00.000+08:00

If He went through the worst shame anyone can ever go through,
and He did it for you,
then all you should do is smile...

Forgiveness

2010-10-13T21:12:00.000+08:00

Sometimes the hardest person to forgive, is yourself.

Joy

2010-09-27T20:07:00.002+08:00

To be pressed, but not crushed.
Persecuted, not abandoned.
Struck down, but not destroyed.

Then, you have joy.

Part

2010-08-30T22:19:00.000+08:00

There are times when i wish i can pen down all the thoughts.

But when the time comes, my fingers are motionless.

The heart hardened.

The mind freezes.

I have lost but to myself.

They used to flow.

Words. Poems. Songs.

But that part of me; is nowhere to be found?

Left behind; or hidden.

Or killed by the Growth disease.

I need to begin my search.

And i won't stop till i find it again...

100

2010-08-26T22:40:00.002+08:00

A post every 7 days. Else ¥100 to whoever catches me not doing so.

Fire

2010-08-19T21:03:00.000+08:00

The momentary glory. The short-lived beauty.

From Japan

Taken on my trip to Hiroshima + Miyajima. The best thing about summer in Japan. Perhaps the only thing.

Droplets

2010-08-05T23:46:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, all you need are droplets.

From Europe

Taken on my way back from Gassan summer snowboarding trip.

Stream

2010-07-08T22:58:00.000+08:00

The stream that never runs dry.

From Japan

Taken on the way back from Gassan summer snowboarding trip.

Details

2010-07-04T11:15:00.000+08:00

One of my best macro shots thus far.

From Japan

Picture taken during my Gassan Summer Snowboarding trip, Yamagata of Japan.

Miniatures.

2010-06-30T22:31:00.000+08:00

A lineup of miniatures.

From Japan

Yamagata, Japan.

2010-05-30T01:04:00.002+08:00

Fresh tofu.

From Japan

This photo was taken on my trip to Kyushu.

Illusions

2010-05-29T14:36:00.000+08:00

Even when all the things in this world
are ferociously hurled at me
and dodging isn't available as a choice.
Even when torment becomes a routine
and pain comes with every breath.
Even when i've lost myself
and the fight for redemption
had been nothing but a lost cause.
I will still.
For there are nothing but the illusions of the world.

Beneath

2010-05-24T21:46:00.000+08:00

This post is dedicated to one of my dearest sisters. Hope it means something to you.

One particular Sunday, Sally walked into her Sunday school class and knew they were in for an eventful day. On the wall was a life-size target, and on a nearby table were many darts.

Mr. Clemmens told his students to draw a picture of someone that they disliked or even hated, or someone who had made them angry, and he would allow them to throw darts at the person's picture. Sally's girlfriend drew a picture of another girl who had tried to steal her boyfriend. Another classmate drew a picture of his little brother who broke his favorite CD. Sally drew a picture of a former friend, putting a great deal of detail into her drawing, even drawing pimples and deformities on the face. Sally was pleased with the overall "special effects" of her drawing.

The students were instructed to pick out a dart with a labeled expressing their feelings of hate, anger, jealousy and revenge. One by one the students threw their darts, some with such force and fury, that their targets were ripped apart.

Sally looked forward to her turn, but was filled with disappointment when Mr. Clemmens, because of time limit, asked the students to return to their seats.

As Sally sat thinking about how angry she was because she didn't have a chance to throw any darts at her target, Mr. Clemmens began removing the darts from the target and then the target from the wall.

To everyone's surprise, beneath the targets was a picture of Jesus.

A hush fell over the room as each student viewed the mangled picture of Jesus, arms spread apart in a gesture of acceptance; holes and jagged marks covered His face, His eyes were pierced, and His heart was wounded.

Mr. Clemmens said only these words....."In as much as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto Me." Matthew 25:40.

Dissolving

2010-05-24T16:13:00.000+08:00

Pages opened, eyes strolling
Yet the mind's 5 thousand miles away.
Presence of a carcass.
What do you do
when the body isn't one with the mind
and you wonder where's the heart.
A separation within
and the endless pain on the head
sucks life away.
Is it the cause, or an effect.

Resolve, before you dissolve.

Helpless

2010-05-15T10:18:00.000+08:00

It's been almost 2 months since my last post. The entire month of April was, happening i would say. And the first 2 weeks of May, needless to say.

April was the Corporate Entry Program. The training for all new company members. As in ALL. Which includes approximately 700+ of Japanese. Altogether for this training. Thus, it was a time where the global recruits could finally mingle and interact with the young Japanese (have been with mostly teachers or seniors or se-seniors) people. Yea, the chics too.
For what it's worth, it was quite an experience. Not entirely sweet; but nevertheless precious.
For the past so many years, i've been pretty much the little leader almost everywhere i went. Trust me when i say i am not boasting; just trying to describe how i felt back then.
St. Johns, CF, Class, HG, uni CF, assignments, projects. Half the time was not by choice.
But the real point is; i've always been the one contributing. And lots of them.

But for this CEP, for the first time; i felt helpless. The language barrier had (and is still) a much larger impact than i first expected. The incapability to comprehend the situation and scenarios forced me to be the parasite to the group most of the time. Worst still; i'm the class leader of 30 members. It isn't just the feeling of being an alien; but the feeling of being the one sidelined when everyone else is working hard towards achieving the shared goal. And it wasn't my choice; sometimes i just couldn't help. And that feeling, hurts much more than i thought.

And today, since i came to this foreign land; i don't seem to remember what does it feel like anymore, to live a fulfilling life.

Where?

2010-03-28T00:36:00.000+08:00

It isn't where you were born
or where you grew up.
Some say it's where you had your first times;
first love, first touch, first kiss.
Perhaps, where it all began.
Others would claim it's where your fondest memories took place.
Or the secret ground of which you take refuge
from the harshness of realities.
Simpler ones would simply say
it's where your friends and family are.
Far ones would think
it's where they wanna return to.
Pressed ones would answer
the very place they wish to escape to.
Wiser ones have said
it's where you belong to.
Reminiscing ones would picture
every sense of familiarities it holds.
But i would say
it is where your heart is.
For if you are at where your heart is,
then you are one with yourself.
And there is no longer anywhere else
you would rather be anymore
than where you are.

Suspicious

2010-03-20T10:55:00.001+08:00

My favorite picture during the trip to Hakone.

From Japan

Somehow, you never know that the picture you've just took
ends up being your favorite.

Rest

2010-03-20T10:28:00.000+08:00

On a bright, sunny Saturday morning;
the first of a 3 consecutive holidays,
with Diana Krall playing over the radio
and a hot cup of Milo in my hands.

What a way to start off the holiday.

John Wesley

2010-03-07T08:38:00.000+08:00

Below is the confession of his salvation.
Taken in London; one of my favorite shots of the trip.

From Europe

Beautiful pain

2010-02-27T15:50:00.002+08:00

This post is dedicated to K, a friend who was, is and always be, a close friend of mine.

He knew exactly that we're gonna fail Him.
He knew for sure that people would still turn away from Him.
Despite all He has done, and all He is about to do.

AT that moment, He did it anyway.

And we know clearly the reason for that; love.
Probably that's how love is supposed to work.

You were not careless. Neither did you let your defense down.
You took his words, and held on to it.
Well, the results did not turn out the way you thought it would.
But that's life, my dear. That, really is.
All that you did, was to fall in love.
And to believe in that love you have.
Just like He did.

Now you're heartbroken, but it's not your fault.
You can blame him, and continue to hurt.
Or take the tougher route, and forgive him.
Know that as you walk down the latter,
you'll find Him (and me) walking with you.

Now every part hurts.
But even pain, can be a beautiful thing.

Face-to-face

2010-02-25T21:46:00.002+08:00

My favorite picture from the Izu Peninsular trip @ Sakura Jam. Entitled face-to-face.

From Japan

>
Lots more taken, but just not planning to spam my blog with photos. But then again, i would upload more from now on still. = )

Weekends

2010-02-22T22:45:00.001+08:00

It was 2 weeks ago at Izu Peninsular of Shizuoka-ken. A fantastic trip indeed it was; having gathered exactly half of the global guys of my year, planned and organized everything by ourselves, drove all the way there and back. First time playing mafia with people from various countries, just to find out that they have a similar game (with additional rules and WEIRD characters).
And the following day, to witness the guys' sincere compassion and kindness towards a stranger; gave me an immense sense of warmth and closeness to them.
As XH put it, we do look, and feel like; a family.

And last week was Zao Onsen of Yamagata-ken. The best snowboarding trip thus far; incredibly awesome snow monsters, perfect snow conditions and weather, good company and improving skills.
The speed i gained while going down the steep slopes, with incredibly beautiful views everywhere i look.
The rush of adrenaline, the chilling wind brushing the face, the sound of snow being carved and the wind gushing; amazing.

Yet, with all these great things happening; the other part of me is...

初めて

2010-02-02T23:10:00.000+08:00

この一週間をわたって、初めての事件がいっぱいだ。

１．今年に初めて教会へいった
２．一日に会った日本人の人数がこんなに多かったは初めてだ
３．MIGHTY　TO　SAVE　（など）日本語のバージョンを初めて歌った
４．日本へきって以来に、初めて教会で主の存在に感動された
５．ハワイー人の友達が初めてできた
６．初めて日本の若人の元気さと神様に対しての態度を見た
７．職場で働き始めた
８．初めて横浜で雪を振っていることを見た
９．日本へきって以来に、初めて食事のための材料をこんなに多く買った（これから食事を自分で作ることもう初めてだよ）
１０．ブローグを全く日本語で書いた

これから、初めての事件がどんどん増えて行くはずだ。でも、たぶん今回の日本語でブローグを書くのは初めてばかりではなくて、最後のだ。日本語で自分の感情と感想を伝えることはすごく難しいからだ。
今もう遅くなったから、ここまで十分だ。お休み。

（日本語がわからない人にとって、翻訳が必要なら、ぜひ、僕に教えてってよ。）

Tripping

2010-01-24T12:49:00.000+08:00

Trip 1: Hakone. All - naked.
Trip 2: Kawaguchi-ko & Fuji-Q. All - in.
Trip 3: Kashimayari. Who can see the fireworks.
Trip 4: Happo One. All - separated.

Back from my third snowboarding trip. Bodies aching, but nothing like the first trip. Just minor muscles strain.
Learnt that snowboarding is less fun doing alone. The 5 of us; RY, FW, Pat, Sar and i got separated the entire time. Whatever tricks or improvements achieved, however bad you fell, none to share with at that moment. Important lesson taken.

Sar has this custom of naming his trips. Hence, since the first trip we had we have been naming them. Each name is rather unique and personal; understood by probably just 5 of us. Crazy times, no doubt.

And the fact that they are uploading photos in incredible amounts in facebook, i guess i should leave the job to the professionals.

More trips to come. First winter is finishing in 2 months time. At least 2 to 3 more snowboarding trips to go i hope. And thereafter, more intense traveling to do. (Though i sound like i am on a vacation, i am not. Really. )

And from all this traveling and new experiences, come the next resolution for this year:

EXPLORE & RELATE.

Resolution

2010-01-13T23:35:00.001+08:00

Everyone has somehow, someway formed their new year resolution. Not that it is my customs or practice to do so every year, but i suppose it does mean that you are working towards changes. Something new in your life which you wish to see in the coming year.

It was not a great year; 2009. And i definitely did not end it well. The habit of messing things up tailed me all the way here. And hence, i should say that i did not begin this year well either.

I do not wish to mention in detail. So do not ask.

Yet i believe i managed to refrain myself from continuing to inflict damages. I believe i had avoided further serious injuries.
But that only means that i have to be responsible for the wounds i have inflicted, and the scars i have left. And i shall.

I shall have my resolution for 2010 ready by the end of this month. And the first would be:

REFRAIN.

Snowboarded

2009-12-28T00:16:00.000+08:00

23rd of December, 2009.
A long bus ride the night before.
A bone-chilling cold morning.
A fun 3 hours of waiting.
A 10 minutes of suit-up and gear-up session.
A cool lift up to the top of the beginner's course.
A brief briefing and crash course.
And then it began.

I strongly believe that the count of falls i had on that day surpasses the total count of falls i ever have up to then. Not that each of the fall was not painful; but eventually i feel immune to the pain.

By the end of the day (literally, as in by night falls), the muscles of my lower body gained independence from my mind control. And they chose to stop reacting to my orders. That resulted in gradual escalation of amount of falls. I knew i have reached my limit for the day, and thus i stopped then.

The long bus ride back to Yokohama was still alright. Going to bed on that night felt a lot tougher than usual, but still possible. The following morning, it was a miracle i managed to roll down the bed and pull myself to work. The aching parts of my body were uncountable. And it lasted for days without much signs of getting better. Till today. I finally feel that my body is recovering. The coup is coming to an end.

What an amazing trip it was. The thrill of sliding down scary steep slopes. The victorious moments when things were done right (as in not falling). The feeling of beating yourself. All in all, the experience; freaking awesome.

Cannot wait for the next trip.
8th of January, 2010. Here i come.

Sakuragichou

2009-12-13T00:13:00.000+08:00

A very beginning. The very early days. The very first. And then the dark years.

On an extremely rare occasion, i found you again. And everything else that leads up to this day; a blessing. You may not find KS much of a friend, but i am grateful for him still.

Okay. I have finally somewhat completed my conquest of Sakuragichou. Covering Aka-renga, Port Terminal, Motomachi and Chinatown; only a few more spots left to be explored. Next week onwards, conquest on Tokyo shall begin.

Meeting up with JW today felt very much like a bonus. Or a belated birthday present (literally). Or an early Christmas present. It was a very relaxing and comfortable outing; exploring new places while catching-up and chatting. And being introduced to some super addictive snacks. And the Sony VS Canon.

But perhaps, the most interesting part was finding out about Hai Peng; my all-time favorite coffee-shop. And JW is the heir of it. The world just got so much smaller tonight.

Hope more of these to come.

Presents

2009-12-06T23:41:00.002+08:00

I have got XH and V planning for my birthday celebration in advance, that itself was quite unusual; and nice. Then i was treated for one of the BEST dinner i ever had. The following day i had the world's best croissant for breakfast. Then i went to Sakuragi-chou for a walk, and simply fell in love with the place more and more. Then it was dinner time. Friends came from pretty far away all the way to Sakuragi-chou just to have dinner with me. I was seriously moved by that. After some crazy photos shooting at a classic-looking arena, i went drinking with R and FW; an all-you-can-drink in 2 hours session was pretty awesome. And today, i met up with K and his boss together with XH at Kita-Senjyu. Good time chatting. And then mom called to wish me. Being able to hear her voice again after her operation, that itself was a great present for me.

So this year was an amazingly fruitful birthday: a super tasty case of chocolates, an egg cutting gadget, a pair of colorful warm-looking socks, a box of fresh strawberries, 2 awesome dinners, 2 birthday cards, about 40 birthday wishes on my Facebook, and a very special email.

Thank you very much, people, for all of the above. Love you people.

(The rest of the post refers to the special email i mentioned earlier.)

Dear V,

I'm sure he was an amazing one. And he looked much warmer than the way you described him though. He must have been a very fun person. I guess i know where the FUN part of you comes from now. And i could never picture him dancing while you were singing; that must have been a priceless moment. I wish i could have met him, and learn about every beautiful piece God has placed in him.

I know he means a lot to you. Much more than words can ever explain. But i am sure you mean much more to him than you ever imagine; because before you even started to get to know him, he was already loving you.

I know what it feels like to miss out the last moments. Along with the remorse of wishing you have done what you did not. But that is not how he would want you to feel.

I believe he wishes you joy. I believe he wishes you life and life in abundance. I believe he doesn't want you to feel regret for what you did not say or do; because he knows exactly who you are. His beloved grand daughter, whom he is proud of, forevermore.

And i would like to dedicate a song for him, on behalf of you. Hope you would like it, or at least not be offended by it. My present for you.

Farewell.

Return

2009-11-23T11:58:00.000+08:00

To my unfaithful readers who didn't bother to ask why the absence of my posts. Here i am, back again in the business of blogging.

Going out soon to explore. Therefore, more updates tonight. Hopefully.

Lata Kinjang: 1

2009-10-19T16:24:00.000+08:00

October 17th - October 18th, 2009. Lata Kinjang. As far as possible from the nearest civilization. As near as possible to our minds and hearts. 5 young men; Soo Jin Hou, Joshua Chin, Mahen, Rabin and myself; conquered yet another magnificent wonder of Malaysia.

From Lata Kinjang

Pictures above were taken on 17th-18th of October, 2009 at Lata Kinjang, Negeri Sembilan.

In Person

2009-06-29T20:50:00.000+08:00

I've found a pretty good excuse for my absence of report here; stories are better told in person. Well, i think that's a really solid one; but nevertheless still an excuse.

But no worries; not that anyone is following anyway. Only reason i'm writing things down are for my own future references. So should i not take my own time?

[Comment if you disagree. = ) ]

Congratulations

2009-06-19T21:19:00.002+08:00

Dedicated to my brother who just got married not long ago.

Wake up every morning and feels like it's Christmas again.
Off to work with a wish and a kiss like it's your wedding day.
Come back home and dine like it's your anniversary.
Lay rest knowing tomorrow isn't just another day.

Wedding is a celebration of the most beautiful dream (or supposed to be, i think).

Marriage is the sustaining of that beauty even after waking up from that dream (which always happen sooner than you think).

30-Hour Famine

2009-06-15T06:51:00.001+08:00

A video promo for 30-Hour Famine 2009. You should have seen promos like this on 8 TV (if you ever watch TV, that is; i don't).

Oh yea, forgot to warn you. It's in Chinese. Bear with it. Drop a comment if you need translation.

For more information, log on to World Vision official 30-Hour Famine website (click here).

Europe: Account

2009-06-13T06:49:00.000+08:00

This is the account of my journey thus far. In fact, several following posts will be dedicated to this account.

26th of May - Took off from Kuala Lumpur LCCT
26th of May -   Touch down, Stansted Airport of London, then off to Dunstable
27th of May -   Back to London for the night
28th of May -   Off to Paris, then to Le Mans
29th of May -   Explore Le Mans
30th of May -   Off to Rennes, then to St. Malo
31st of May -   Off to Mont St. Michel, then to Caen
1st of June -      Explore Caen, then back to Paris
2nd of June -   Explore Paris
3rd of June -   Off to Brussels, then to Leuven
4th of June -      Back to Brussels
5th to 7th of June -    Camp in YWAM base, Brussels
8th of June -    Off to Bruges
9th of June -      Off to Amsterdam
10th of June -    Off to London
11th of June -    Back to London

Next Post:   Details on each leg of the journey stated above.

Coming soon.

Seasons

2009-06-10T02:00:00.000+08:00

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather thenm,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Dedicated to me by J.
Thank you, for such lovely verses. Perfect timing.

Well

2009-05-11T20:45:00.000+08:00

This shall be my potentially last post from the north. Not gonna be back here till convocation; August. And so, this really is good-bye.
Funny i should say; when i stepped down from the ferry last Friday morning, an unexpected sense of familiarity surfaced. The PERSON i met at the bus terminal the previous night, the ferry ride, the breakfast venue; everything seems to be in nostalgic note. 4 years here. At FES office writing my last post is just a dot in a long line of unexpected happenings.

Bade the toughest farewell i have ever experienced today. By far, THE TOUGHEST. Only you and God would know which farewell i am referring to. = )

So here i wish you well.

Chicken a la Carte

2009-04-19T16:40:00.000+08:00

Chicken a la Carte : Director: Ferdinand Dimadura

Genre: Drama
Produced In: 2005

Synopsis: This film is about the hunger and poverty brought about by Globalization. There are 10,000 people dying everyday due to hunger and malnutrition. This short film shows a forgotten portion of the society. The people who live on the refuse of men to survive. What is inspiring is the hope and spirituality that never left this people.

View this movie at cultureunplugged.com

How would you respond to this?

Farewell

2009-04-17T15:30:00.001+08:00

CF Farewell on the 1st of April, 2009. That was approximately 2 weeks ago. Just another farewell. Except that it's for me. Well, precisely my entire batch with me included.
Except for AC, noone else really cried. Shame. Would have been more fun and dramatic if more people did.

Anyway, few photos here to picturize the night.

From Farewell

Pictures above were taken on the 1st of April, 2009 at DK 11 of USM.

The Wait

2009-04-05T18:54:00.001+08:00

It started to drizzle when we reached. It was quite a letdown for JE; the rain steals away light of which he desires to chase after, he said. OK...not exact words, i dramatized the expression.
I was hesitant to agree.
The first 15 minutes was simply enjoying the serenity.
Several fishing-enthusiasts did not seem to be botherd by the mild drizzle. Steadily, quietly and patiently they continued with no obvious discontentment of being unfruitful (or should i say, unfishful). Indeed, they have compensated much colors to the sceneries.

Then, it came to me. My inspiration, a message; The Wait.
With an intention to capture my thoughts, i withdrew my loyal 450D from its bag and began shooting.
The result - a series of shots i am personally satisfied with. Much to improve though, but the fact that a message was conceded before the first look through the viewfinder makes the entire experience - focused, dedicated, intentful and FUN.

From PB River Side

The pictures above were taken on the 4th of April, 2009 at the river bank of Sg. Kerian, old town of Parit Buntar.

The Same Power

2009-03-25T10:20:00.000+08:00

Not that i grew lazy. Or lost of words. Really. Just sometimes, songs make a stronger impact. Power of music? I believe it's the spirit of God moving through the songs. Or the worshippers in it.
You are here (The Same Power) - by Hillsongs London

Verse 1:
There is a love that I know
Strength for the weak and the broken-heart
My Shepard and King, I find you within me
For You Are Here

Carried the cross for the world
Gathered the lost and the fatherless
My Shepard and King, I find you within me
For You Are Here, my Lord forever You Are Here

Chorus:
In this place, You Are Here
By Your mercy, I draw near
In my heart, take Your place
You Are Here

Verse 2: Your word is the light of the Earth
Your glory resounds in the universe
My Shepard and King, I find You within me
For You Are Here, my Lord forever, You Are Here

Bridge:
The same power that conquered the grave lives in me, lives in me!
Your love that rescued the Earth lives in me, lives in me!

Overcome

2009-03-23T11:51:00.002+08:00

To my dearest sister.

I am no wise man. My words are merely experiential-based and opinionated. But this is what i believe; there are 2 types of storms.

The first type blows from 1 direction to another. It comes and goes. Survive it, and you shall see the light of day once it's over.

The second type rises from within. It engulfs you; no escape. Probably the only way to see the end of it is by overcoming it. Rise above it.

Overcome - by Desperation Band

Verse 1:
Seated above, enthroned in the Father's love
Destined to die, poured out for all mankind
God's only son perfect and spotless one
He never sinned, but suffered as if he did

Pre-Chorus:
All authority, every victo-ry is Yours
All authority, every victory is Yours

Chorus:
Savior, worthy of honor and glory, worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever,awesome and great is Your name,You overcame

Verse 2:
Power in hand speaking the Father's plan
You're sending us out, light in this broken land

Bridge:
We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb
and the word of our testimony, everyone overcome

2.50

2009-03-21T22:33:00.002+08:00

That's the value of our farewell gift. From CF. From the juniors.

Where did we go wrong?

Storm (Re-Post)

2009-03-18T11:52:00.000+08:00

As stated in the title, this is a repost; i have featured this video on my blog once before this. In fact, it was the second post on this blog. [Who cares.]

A song to be dedicated to my SISTER. One that has been very close to my heart for the past whole decade. All that i wish to say to you right now may have been captured in this song.

Lifehouse - Storm.

How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean’s shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

I know you didn’t bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Because I’m so used to living underneath the surface

Chorus:
If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I could see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be all right

Waiting

2009-03-10T10:52:00.003+08:00

Wilberforce fought almost the entire House of Commons for what he stood for. Of course, we all know that it was not by his own strength, but by the amazing grace of God which himself had lauded. But his determination to go against the impossibilities was nevertheless the key to freedom for millions.

But the slavery has continued. By the same master; the human nature, especially Master G. And this time, his conquest far exceeds any empire we have ever seen. He has enslaved almost the entire population of the Earth but chosen fews. And he is not relenting till he conquers the world. Well, i don't think he's far from that anyway.

And so i wonder, where is the Wilberforce of this generation?

Anyway...

Are we not as what John Mayer sang in his song "Waiting on the world to change"?

People tell us that our stand is futile. We see the spiraling down of the world, but feel as if we do not have what it takes to rise above and beat it.

Freaking true he says; it's hard to beat the system when we're standing at a distance.

What you get from the TV is all you got. Once they own the information, all you know is all they ever want you to know.

Then we complain and whine, saying that the fight ain't fair. Damn right it is.

Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and
There's no way we ever could

Now we see everything that's going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change

Now if we had the power
To bring our neighbors home from war
They would have never missed a Christmas
No more ribbons on their door
And when you trust your television
What you get is what you got
Cause when they own the information, oh
They can bend it all they want

That's why we're waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's not that we don't care,
We just know that the fight ain't fair
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

And we're still waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting waiting on the world to change
One day our generation
Is gonna rule the population
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

Nothing but the Blood

2009-03-03T18:27:00.000+08:00

I am definitely not posting videos because i am too lazy to write. Partially, maybe. But seriously, i love this song. Hope you would be touched by this song as much as i do.

Farewell

2009-02-19T11:52:00.001+08:00

A song to be dedicated to a man i barely know; a man whom i wish i could know better.

A song by Mercy Me - I can only imagine.

Face-off

2009-02-03T14:19:00.008+08:00

Take me away

Away from my body and mind

For my body weakens and fails You

And my mind wanders away from You

My heart tires to pump

And my lungs laze

This suffocation is familiar

In the past darkest days

It does not matter what i do

Or where i am

Or who i talk to

Pain may ease but never retire

Breathing becomes an effort

Thoughts no longer a choice

Words do not originate from mind

I can no longer choose how i am to be

Evasion gave me yesterday's laughter

Reality drowned me in today's chilling water

There is none left to blame

None but myself

Give me the strength to set things right

Many times willed; none conceded

The coming dawn makes every hour counts

This is the first step to the final attempt.

Dreamy

2009-01-24T18:05:00.002+08:00

From Panorama Camping

The picture above was taken on December 26th, 2008 at Panorama Hill (peak) of Sg. Lembing.

Conve-norance

2009-01-23T11:33:00.005+08:00

1. Park your vehicle by the side of the road wherever fits (or not), despite it being a non-parking slot; despite knowing it'll be a nuisance to other drivers.
2. Light up a cigarette whenever you wish; despite being in non-smoking area, despite knowing that it'll kill both you and others around you.
3. Insist to go for dinner while in accompaniment of friends who bluntly refused and objected.
4. Walk away from responsibilities to self-pleasing agendas, knowing the fact that others are willingly helpful to finish what you started.
5. Join the rest of the world to condemn someone whom you barely know, without the slightest effort of objective reasoning and research.
6. Shut yourself from news of suffering in a faraway land and live your life unsympathetically.
7. Mourn for 2 seconds over a stranger's tragic demise, and start cracking jokes 5 seconds later.
8. Have zero respect and appreciation for food despite being in full knowledge of Mal-nutrient, starving, famine-stricken children in another corner of the world.
9. Embrace A.D.I.D.A.S syndrome; All Day I Dream About Self-pleasures.
10. Sub-consciously but evidently, and definitely unapologetically thinks this way:

"It's always about me. And i ought to think so, or else i'll be left out. My interests and wishes would be unattended and unfulfilled if i don't. And that's sad. So me first."

I wonder how long i can go on.

Well, in case if you have not realized; they are based on the 2 latest secrets to happiness:

Convenience.

Ignorance.

Truth is, when you fuse both together; the destruction that entails may far exceeds any weapon that has ever been created (or probably to be created).

Is that not pathetic, what one would do to suit his/her own convenience? And is that not heart-breaking, how one would ignore the rest of the world and center-staged oneself? These 2 WMD penetrates through culture, race (i'm rascist towards my own race for being in the front-line), nationality; even faith. It is in fact, double the pain; to see my brethren in Christ to uphold and embrace the 2 timeless evils.

I am not entirely excluding myself by proclaiming that i am free from them. They are extremely enticing and addictive. And most of the time, sub-consciously they crawl up to my mind and whisper convincing arguments to prove themselves right. They win, sometimes.

But in each battle that i lost, for at least i am aware of it, i admit it, and i tirelessly attempt to win the next.

After all, is that not what we all ought to strive for? Not perfection (neither will we ever be), but rather the conscience, the will to repent and change, and the strength to do so.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil, is that good men do nothing."

By Sir Edmund Burke.

Kudat - KK - Islands - Mount KK - KK - Rafting - KK

2009-01-20T15:21:00.001+08:00

All photos below are taken by me. I believed there were enough to depict my ascent to 4095.2m; hence only a few for that occasion.

From KK Trip_Mine

Kudat's Waterfront / Esplanade at night.

From KK Trip_Mine

Kudat's traffict-light-less roads; roundabouts everywhere.

From KK Trip_Mine

Kudat's Esplanade at 6 a.m..

From KK Trip_Mine

Tip of Borneo; Tanjung Simpang Mengayau.
The northernmost of Borneo.

From KK Trip_Mine

SHE posers.

From KK Trip_Mine

Staircase-like solid-sand formation.

From KK Trip_Mine

More posers.

From KK Trip_Mine

.....

From KK Trip_Mine

Notice the sand formation.

From KK Trip_Mine

Open sea.

From KK Trip_Mine

Panoramic view of Island-i-forgot-the-name.

From KK Trip_Mine

Snorkeling at Pulau Sapi.

From KK Trip_Mine

View from UMS's Canselori.

From KK Trip_Mine

Painted sky.

From KK Trip_Mine

Breathtaking.

From KK Trip_Mine

South Peak. The favorite shot of Mount Kinabalu.

From KK Trip_Mine

Mount Kinabalu, anyone?

Hike

2009-01-15T21:10:00.001+08:00

Mount Kinabalu. Conquered on the 7th of Dec., 2008. The best birthday present indeed.
As proof, i present you - our hike.
(BTW, the photos are dedicated to Nm. Simply to maker her jealous.)

From KK_Derrick

The Beginning.

From KK_Derrick

The Pre-Warm-up.

From KK_Derrick

The changes.

From KK_Derrick

The Warm-up.

From KK_Derrick

The Path.

From KK_Derrick

The Resthouse.

From KK_Derrick

The Real Hike.

From KK_Derrick

The Final Pit-stop.

From KK_Derrick

...

From KK_Derrick

... ...

From KK_Derrick

... ... ...

From KK_Derrick

... ... ... ...

From KK_Derrick

... ... ... ... ...

From KK_Derrick

... ... ... ... ... ...

From KK_Derrick

... ... ... ... ... ... ...

From KK_Derrick

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

From KK_Derrick

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

From KK_Derrick

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

From KK_Derrick

............................................

From KK_Derrick

The Shadow of the Peak.

From KK_Derrick

The Reward.

From KK_Derrick

The Proof. The "I made it!" Moment. The Vertical Limit.

From KK_Derrick

The Descent.

From KK_Derrick

The View from 4095.2 m.

From KK_Derrick

The Absurd.

From KK_Derrick

The Celebration. Cheers~

I don't like to post alot of photos of a single event.
But this exceptional journey surely deserves an exception.

*None of the photos above were taken by me.
They were Derricks'. Priceless masterpiece indeed.

Testing the Eyewitness Evidence: Do the biographies of Jesus stand up to scrutiny?

2009-01-08T09:41:00.001+08:00

(continued interview with Craig L. Blomberg)

1. Intention Test – to determine whether it was the stated or implied intention of the writers to accurately preserve history.

The gospel of Luke:

Many have undertaken to draw up an account of the things that have been fulfilled

among us, just as they were handed down to us by those who from the first were

eyewitnesses and servants of the word. Therefore, since I myself have carefully

investigated everything from the beginning, it seemed good also to me to write an

orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus, so that you may know the

certainty of the things you have been taught.

Luke clearly stated that he intended to write accurately about the things he investigated and found to be well-supported by witnesses.

2. Ability Test – to be able to reliably record history.

In the early days, rabbis became famous for having the entire Old Testament committed to memory. In a setting without computers and press printing; books or scrolls of papyrus were rare enough, education, learning, worship, teaching in religious communities were all done by word of mouth. So it would have been well within the capability of Jesus’ disciples to memorize the details of the events as well as the teachings and miracles of Jesus himself.

In maintaining the integrity of the message being passed on, the community would constantly be monitoring what was said and intervening to make corrections along the way.

3. Character Test – to look at whether it was in the character of these writers to be truthful; evidence or possibility of dishonesty or immorality.

For a group of people who were put to grisly deaths for their beliefs despite renouncing their faith, their honesty, truthfulness, virtue and morality were never in dispute.

4. Consistency Test – to test for dead contradictions that nullify the gospels’ credibility.

Simon Greenleaf of Harvard Law School, one of history’s most important legal figures and author of an influential treatise on evidence; upon studying the consistency among the four gospel writers, said:

There is enough of a discrepancy to show that there could have been no previous

concert among them; and at the same time such substantial agreement to show

that they all were independent narrators of the same great transaction.

German scholar / classical historian Hans Stier has concurred that agreement over basic data and divergence of details suggest credibility, because fabricated accounts tend to be fully consistent and harmonized.

Contradictions

In Matthew it says a centurion himself came to ask Jesus to heal his servant. Luke says the centurion sent the elders to do this. In the ancient world it was perfectly understood and accepted that actions were often attributed to people when in fact they occurred through their subordinates or emissaries. Similarly, we hear a news report that says, “The president today announced that…” when in fact the speech was written by a speechwriter and delivered by the press secretary.
The discrepancies between the genealogies of Jesus in Matthew and Luke. 2 options of explanations: first being that Matthew reflects Joseph’s lineage (most of his opening chapter is told from Joseph’s perspective and Joseph, as the adoptive father, would have been the legal ancestor through whom Jesus’ royal lineage would have been traced – important themes for Matthew ) while Luke, then, would have traced the genealogy through Mary’s lineage. Since both are from the ancestry from David, the lines converge then. Second option is that both genealogies reflect Joseph’s lineage; one is Joseph’s human lineage (gospel of Luke) and the other is his legal lineage, with the two diverging at points where somebody in the line did not have a direct offspring. They had to raise up legal heirs through OT practices.

5. Bias Test – to analyze whether the gospel writers had any biases that would have colored their work.

6. Cover-up Test – to test whether the gospel writers made up stories to make themselves look good, conveniently forgetting embarrassing / inexplicable details.

7. Corroboration Test – to corroborate / identify / assess accuracy of testimonies through other sources.

8. Adverse Witness Test – to check for contemporaries of Jesus of complains that the gospel accounts were just plain wrong.

To avoid the post from going too absurdly long and uninteresting, I decided to leave out the details of the 5^th to 8^th tests, but assuredly the gospels passed. With high distinction, undoubtedly.

Testing the Eyewitness Evidence: Do the biographies of Jesus stand up to scrutiny?

2009-01-08T09:41:00.000+08:00